‘A loss, is not just A loss! It is B,C,D,E,F,G...…….’

5 min read
30 May

Having worked as a Counsellor & Psychotherapist for many years in various fields of Counselling and organizations, I often found adhering to certain policies and procedures a difficulty on both a personal and professional reason. These difficulties always resulted in the same outcome; my belief that clients should have more freedom within their personal therapy and choices they are able to make for themselves, not having been set for them. For example: Many organisations only offer clients six sessions of therapy. This promoted a new personal direction and mission for myself; setting up independently and opening my own private practice where I can conduct my own personal way of working with clients, choosing many of my own policies and procedures and the ability to choose to specialize in my preference area of: Loss and Grief.   

Loss is an area which affects people each and every day and is majorly misunderstood by many. The impacts and complications that just one issue of loss creates, is something I strive to widely share awareness.     

The Ripple Effect

Imagine throwing a stone into water, you’re aware that it will create an ongoing ripple effect. This ripple effect relates to our own life experiences too. The stone thrown into water is what's known as a ‘primary’ loss. The rippling effect is what’s known as our ‘secondary’ losses. For example:   

Primary- A death of a loved one. 

Secondary- Loss of relationship, Loss of identity, Loss of confidence, Loss of self, Loss of religion/faith/beliefs, Loss of trust, Loss of socialism, Loss of support/guidance, Loss of hope/plans/dreams, Loss of direction/ambition, Loss of income/employment, Loss of freedom, Loss of security, Loss of a home, Loss of existence….. The list goes on.    

Primary- Loss of employment. 

Secondary- Loss of career, Loss of finance, Loss of home, Loss of personal belongings, Loss of friendships, Loss of social activity, Loss of direction, Loss of hopes & dreams, Loss of family activities, Loss of ambition, Loss of confidence & self-esteem, Loss of faith, Loss of security, Loss of trust, Loss of Control, Loss sexual functioning, Loss of responsibilities.... Again, the list goes on.   

Whatever your primary loss may be, there will also be multiple secondary losses attached. Many individuals of today will be unaware that so many secondary losses could possibly occur from that of their primary loss. The combination of these issues could develop into difficulties that we greatly struggle to cope with in our life and therefore, often impact on both our emotional and physical health, well-being and ability.   

As previously stated, it is a personal mission of mine to promote knowledge and awareness of the various implications that just one experience of ‘loss’ can cause. 

loss, is not just loss! It is B,C,D,E,F,G...…….’  

Sharing this information can help others to understand why loss, and its various implications, can possibly cause Mental Health related issues: •Anxiety Attacks & Disorders •Depression •Anger •Stress Disorders & Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) •Phobias •Mood Disorders •Dissociative Disorders •Developmental & Disability Disorders •Mental Disorders and any more! 

For more relating blogs and information, keep updating by liking my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/kslossandgriefcounsellinginhavering  

Please feel free to contact me with any questions you may. In the meantime, click here for more information about myself and my services.

Thank you for reading.  

Kind Regards

Kylea Sustek

Loss & Grief Counselling in Havering 

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