‘A loss is not just A loss. It is B,C,D,E,F,G...…….’

7 min read
30 May

'Loss' is an area which affects people each and every day and is majorly misunderstood by many. The impacts and complications that just one issue of loss creates, is something I strive to widely share awareness. 


The Ripple Effect

Imagine throwing a stone into water, you’ll be aware that it will create an ongoing ripple effect. 

This ripple effect relates to our own life experiences too. 

The stone thrown into water is what's known as a primary loss. The rippling effect is what’s known as our secondary losses.  

Examples Of Primary and Secondary Loss

Primary - The death of a loved one. 

Secondary - Loss of a relationship, Loss of identity, Loss of confidence, Loss of self, Loss of religion/faith/beliefs, Loss of trust, Loss of socialism, Loss of support/guidance, Loss of hope/plans/desires/dreams..., Loss of direction/ambition/motivation..., Loss of income/employment, Loss of freedom, Loss of security, Loss of a home, Loss of existence... The list goes on.    

Primary - Loss of employment. 

Secondary - Loss of career, Loss of finance/income, Loss of home, Loss of personal belongings, Loss of friendships, Loss of social activity, Loss of direction, Loss of hopes/plans/desires/dreams, Loss of family activities, Loss of ambition/motivation, Loss of confidence & self-esteem, Loss of faith, Loss of security, Loss of trust, Loss of Control, Loss sexual functioning, Loss of responsibilities... Again, the list goes on. 


Whatever your primary loss may be, there will also be multiple, more often than not, unconscious, secondary losses attached to this one life event. Many individuals will be unaware that so many secondary losses could, possibly, occur from that of their primary loss. The combination of these issues could develop into difficulties that we greatly struggle to cope with within our lives, and therefore, often impacts upon both our mental and physical health.

The examples above are in-relation to an adults perspective. No consider how many more secondary losses a child will come to experience.


Note To Self

loss is not just loss! It is B,C,D,E,F,G...…….’  

Children's Bereavement, Loss & Grief Workbooks Available HERE

Thank you for reading.  

Kind Regards,

Kylea Sustek

Private Counselling in Havering 


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